off axis I

It was just one more night. One of those nights she stood there, sleepless in the dark. One perfect night to dream away, until time came when she stood up and turned on the light. That was the time. That time she stood before that huge blank paper sheet, hoping inspiration would come at any moment. It was a stormy night, and her mind was spinning off axis with images of him. 

Oh, him. Those warm (and at the same time, cold) blue eyes, that blond hair screaming "don't care", that smile. She could go on and on, from those amazing eyes, right down to what went beneath that Jack Skellington t-shirt and the perfectly fitted jeans (and that was such a mouth-watering vision). He was, alone, the reason for that stupid silly lack of sleep. She kept thinking about him, about every detail - the eyes, the smile, the body. And every time she was left breathless. 

Every single day he drove to work on his Toyota, parked the car and got to work, in the same place she did. He walked, with that "don't notice me" look on his face, and still managed to leave every girl there sighing with the pleasure of that view. And the fact that he was absolutely self aware of that was something she hated. Yet, he kept messing with her, touching her arm carelessly, kissing her cheek longer than necessary. And that alone got her mind spinning. 

Oh, her mind. By now it was spinning with multiple images of both of them, in the back of that car, clothes lost somewhere. She shook her head, and the thoughts went somewhere else. Little did she knew, that naive girl, but his smile alone could make her heart skip a beat. Several of them, acually. 

And so it went, right until that moment he caught her alone and stole her a kiss. Or two. Needless to say that night they both ended up on his unmade bed, legs tangled, tired and breathless. And she never needed to dream about that achingly perfect man again.

another love letter to my best friend.

My love,

Here i am, writing to you once more. And, once again, words start to fail. You know i wish i could write you something beautiful. Something that would take your breath away, like you took mine. As usual, not even the best dictionary on the planet will help me, there are a lot of things words can’t tell. I will try and do my best, for you.

Everyday i think about you. How life would be for both of us if, at some point, i had ran after you. Or if you had come after me. I like to dream wide awake, to think about all the “what ifs” that refer to you and me. Sometimes, i think of us in black and white, you know, like those movie clichés where there’s this beautiful girl and a guy who sweeps her off her feet. I imagined us holding hands on the street, kissing in the pouring rain and sleeping on the same bed, holding each other. I’m well aware i was only dreaming, but i still keep all those wishes in my heart.

I’m not beautiful or extraordinary, i’m just… me. But you did sweep me off my feet, and everyday i love you a little bit more, because you keep reminding me of all the reasons why i fell for you in the first place. I know, my dear, i know - i shouldn’t say these things. But the truth is, i can’t be without you. Have i ever told you that ? I just can’t. You’re my best friend, and i love absolutely everything about you. I keep you in my mind all the time. I love your eyes, the way you smile. The look on your face when you’re tired. Your hair. The way you say i’m beautiful, and the way you insist when i deny it. Everything. My heart chose you, because to me you are perfect.

I’m sorry if i’m already saying to much. I lose myself on the speech easily, it’s hard to keep focused with all that has been going on in my head. Fact is, when we first met, i was broken, in more than a million pieces. And somehow, you saved me. You fixed me. Found all my pieces and brought me back together. Oh, my love, how i wish you could see yourself the way i do.

I promise you, i will never leave you. I know it seems silly to say this, neither of us can’t predict the future. Still, i will never leave you on my own will. If you’re wondering why, i should tell you, in fact it is quite simple: i can’t live without you. I’m sorry if i’m too attached, too annoying or too clingy. It’s been a few years already, and i still love you like it was yesterday. That’s it. I love you. How could i not ?

Please, my love, don’t be sad. I know that sometimes you wish your heart had chosen me - but we both know we can’t chose the ones we love. I don’t want you to be sad, my darling, this was made for you to smile. Smile because you’re great. Smile because in spite of the distance, i will spend every single night by your side. Smile because i love you. Smile because there is one person in this world that wants you with all the strength she has left. Smile because you know that person is me.

Yours forever,

Your best friend.